biang eh! i really wanna quit life le...

hi there.

ok, youre probably wondering why, after 3 whole months, ive created a blog post again. to answer that, you need to know why i quit blogging 3 months ago in the first place.

the reason was that i thought writing a diary was boring, coz making a post is just arranging hundreds of words in a specific order so that ppl who read it can know how i feel, what i experienced, etc. of course other factors were involved too, but their contributions were far less.

in layman's terms, blogging is sian. (reading other ppl's blogs, btw, is also v sian.)

so you may think that ive returned to blogging because for some reason ive abandoned the idea that blogging is boring. if so, think again. do i look like a guy who likes blogs? obviously not. (well if you said yes, it just proves that you don't know me at all.)

ive come back because i am so sian that even things that used to be sian appear not be sian anymore. its just like boredom and work. when youve done nothing long enough you will approach a sianness limit. after youve crossed the limit you would want to do work again, even if you know that work is still very sian. this often happens during holidays. when youve slacked too much you feel mugging.

mugging. it just sucks. really. muggers suck too. i openly discriminate muggers. as such, ive come up with a list of 01's pro muggers. i call it the mugger guild. note: the ranking does matter.

members of this guild are:
1. tse mei
2. peixin
3. huizhen
4. ha
5. liu xuan
6. wu duo
7. han dong? (sometimes he seems to mug a lot, sometimes he seems to slack.)

actually, except for the top 3, the rankings are not really important, coz their mugging potentials are more or less equal. (note: mugger potential is derived from water potential. the more water potential a solution has, the more likely water will move by osmosis. you get the point.)

excluding handong, 6 ppl are confirmed to be muggers. that's 6 out of 26. almost ONE QUARTER (1/4) (四分之一) of my class are muggers. how to live liddat? but in order to continue surviving, i had 2 options. first, get out of the class as often as possible and mix with the non muggers. which means, the boys from other classes. the second option is to become a mugger myself, coz "If you can't stop them, join them." - Anonymous

guess which option i chose.

well, i gtg le, coz i havent finished studying my is2104, havent done my bio-org assignment yet, oh yeah, i'm going to do...

10 wishes for the new year

hey there.

well, a new year has arrived; 2005 has become history. with it went also my first year in njc ip, which is probably one of the most memorable years in my life. but if i were to go on rambling about the events that happened in the past year, there's no telling when i shall finish. maybe it'll take another year. (and by then i will have another year's account to write about, which will take another year. and the loop continues.) so, no.

that's why ive decided to write about some things i wish to see in this new year. well, they may not all be realised, but i guess by publishing them online, more people might be able to help me realise them. here it is.

in 2006, i wish that:

1. all hypocrites maintain their phony facades, so that they can continue to earn contempt from those who see right through them.

> yeah, it really pisses me off to see hypocrites wearing their fake masks. you are who you are, and dont try to alter your real personality by pretending to be someone else.

2. all attention seekers can get all the negative attention they so much long for.

> damn. so many people are trying desparately to attract attention to themselves. well, let me tell you this. if you wanna be popular, first you need to be make yourself likable. then people will start noticing the great person in you. you don't try to harnass attention from others just by saying or doing things that irritate other people and in the process get them to notice your presense. that way it's just like trying to help the shoot grow by pulling it (拔苗助长).

3. those who are lost may find their way in life.

> well, i notice that many do not have specific goals in their lives. instead they are led almost entirely by the events that are taking place right in front of them. like the NTUC plastic bag that is led to wherever the wind takes it. (rmb the damn lame NTUC commercial? if you dont then never mind..)

4. those who hold grudges may forget them altogether and welcome friendship with the people they used to hate.

> its a new year, and its a new beginning. how abt treating everything negative like they've never happened before and convert your enemies into friends?

5. kwok hong can grow up and play warcraft with me instead of wasting his time on maplestory =D

> wah lau eh kwok hong! so old already still playing stupid games like battleon and maplestory.. aiyo.. i know la it may be quite addictive at first but then later it becomes a real waste of time. dont tell me youre only going to stop when your swordsman becomes level 100 hor!

6. the carefree and playful dudes can get some sense and become more serious in their ways.

> some people just treat life as a joke. they never get down to it. the world's a playground huh? wait until the playground eventually turns into a rubbish compactor. then you'll feel the pressure.

7. the extremely serious and no-nonsense people can relax and become more playful.

> ...while some people dread wasting even a minute of their hectic lives. they fill themselves with so much stress that i reckon one day they might get a nervous breakdown mann. chill, and relax.

8. everyone can forget about the painful incidents of the past and never recall them, unless one wishes to derive lessons from them.

> this message isnt really by me. think it was once said by george washington or someone. yeah but whatever the case, its a very good teaching to bare in mind.

9. some people, including me, can hold their interests in certain things and be less likely to lose them quickly.

> i really lose interest very quickly. once i was so passionate about becoming a councillor. but now, the prospect of running for council doesnt strike me at all. in fact it even sounds absurd. surely you can identify in me more cases of the loss of interest in things. well, i just hope it'll change.

10. i can become more extroverted.

> no need to explain this heh.

my holidays

hello.

hey damnit la, holidays are so mundane, and ive accomplished nothing in particaular so far. and because of the monotony, ive been drowning myself in playing computer games, which is why ive hardly touched my blog.

sianzz.. what have you done so far? i bet youre not much better than me haha. it's like you know the holidays are running away from you at a breakneck speed but you just cant possibly hold it back. the worst part is that whenever you want to start doing something meaningful, you'll tell yourself that there's no reason to do it, and then simply brush it aside. damn. wish there's some way to change that. wish there's someone around you to give you the motivation. wish everything can be perfect.. impossible.

well, think of it again, there are actually somethings that ive gained, but sadly all of them have no positive influence on my studies. these things ive gotten through my friends - all of whom boys.

first, there's an addition to my vocabulary. as you'll figure, they're not really proper english words that appear in your oxford dictionary. so it might help if you learn them now, so that when you hear them in the future you know what they mean.

1. gg

"gg" is a very common expression that stands for "good game". usually it's used in RTS (real-time strategy) lan games (such as warcraft) when a player wants to concede defeat. saying "gg" is a polite way to end a game when you're sure youve lost. however, it can also be used in real life to express disgust at a situation. it's sort of like saying "oh manns, i give up."

"woah sHiT! i dozed off on the bus and now ive ended up in jurong! gg le..."

2. pwn (pronounced p-OO-n)

"pwn" originates from the word "pawn", which is a term used in DotA meaning "to sell". not everything can be pawned. "pawn" is only used with "pawning heads". (ok. you dont get it. see, in DotA, you need to kill other players to win. and everytime you kill another player, you'll be able to "pawn his head for an amount of money". and "pwn" is pawn with the "a" removed. i not sure why, maybe they find that nicer.)

anyway, to get "pwned" would mean that you're so terribly screwed by someone/something that he gets to sell your head.

3. glhf

acronym for "good luck have fun", which simply means good luck. doh.

4. WOLS

this is a test of your velocity. try to figure out what this word means under a minute. answer is below. but no peeking!










did you get it? if you didnt, youre damn slow leh! if you still dont get it, well, you might as well kill yourself. haha!

a joke

hello.

today i would like to share a joke with everyone. im not sure if you've heard this before; perhaps it's widely spread already. but i think it's real funny and deserves a second round of laughter. oh yeah, it was bao yuan who told me this joke.

here it goes:

three men stumbled upon the village of a cannibal tribe by accident and were unfortunately discovered by its residents. the normal routine was to slaughter them for dinner, but as the cannibals were not craving for human flesh for the moment, they decided to entertain themselves by playing a simple gambling game with the intruders.

"to the north, not far away from here, is a magical tree that allows you to transform into any animal you want by simply touching it and shouting out the name of the animal you wish to be," explained the chieftain, a dark-skinned man of heavy build who uncannily reminded one of a troll. "we will head there now."

as they arrived, the three men gasped in awe at the sight of the gigantic tree. it easily dwarfed the surrounding plants, reaching an incredible height of at least 5 storeys.

"this shall be the starting line for you," the chieftain said, pointing towards a mark drawn on the leaf-littered forest floor. "at the count of 5, you will start running towards the tree. if you can reach it before we can touch you, you can transform into whatever you want, escaping from our grasp. however, you shall not try anything funny, otherwise you shall end up in our tribe's cooking pot tonight."

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!"

the american went first. deftly he manouvred through the dense growths, reaching the tree effortlessly. he wished that he could become a hawk, and in a flash of white light, he morphed into the bird and flew away.

the british went next. he was a heavy man, and did not run as fast as the athletic american. just as the cannibals were coming into contact with him, he mustered all his strength and made a leap towards the tree. miraculously he touched the tree, and transformed into a sparrow, escaping successfully.

the last one to go was ah beng. ah beng never attended any sports training before, and was extremely unskillful. nevertheless, he tried his luck, for this was his only ticket to freedom. he almost made it when he tripped on a root of the magical tree...

"NABEI CHEEBYE!"

=================================================

moral of the story: swearing can cost you your modesty.

the bus stop dilemma

hello.
you know what? humans are incredibly complex creatures. in fact, to date, no one on earth a.) has created anything close to the human brain, b.) is able to remember all the aspects of the human body, and c.) understand how humans could possibly have been produced by nature.

of course this is kind of a contradiction, because since humans are so complex, why can't they understand themselves? well, being complex doesnt mean being omnipotent. we humans have our limits, and we must learn to acknowledge them. but nevertheless, we should never give up hope and our dreams. maybe one day we can finally unlock the secrets of nature and make profound revelations - about who we are, what is our purpose, etc.

ok, that was a slight diversion. just some random thoughts that came to my mind when i was writing the first paragraph. anw, i just wanted to say, we humans are as complex as we are weird. well why do i say that? because 15 years into my life, i cant help but notice some funny little aspects of people that they themselves do not realise. liu xuan said that im observant. truth is, im not really observant. i just cant let prominent details escape me. just like a walk through a carpark. if there is a insignificant scratch on one car's door, I wouldnt even notice it. but if there was a huge white splotch of bird dropping on one car's windshield, i cant help but to slow down my steps and stare at it for a moment, wondering how the owner of the car would feel when he saw it.

let's get on with it. here's a scenario.

you are at the bus stop outside NJC waiting for your bus after school. you constantly look out for your bus but it somehow just doesnt arrive. frowning, you habitually check your watch ever so often. maybe the bus uncle got a stroke and crashed the bus, you tell yourself.

then the boy/girl from another IP class whom you dont know too well comes out of the back gate alone. he/she sees you and says hi pleasantly. you perfunctorily say hi back. both of you start feeling tensed because you've just met a dilemma. not talking to the boy/girl over there would be anti-social, but then you also realise that there's nothing to talk about. there's nothing in common between you and the other guy.

"eh, what bus you taking arh?" he approaches you.

you told him. (sometimes i think this is because the other guy wants to be the first to spot your bus so that he would actually feel relieved as he knows that he could get rid of you already. not because he dislikes you la, it's just because he wants to avoid awkward situations.)

"oh i c.. that bus always no aircon one hor?"

but you told him otherwise.

"oh! ohhh... haha... er.. actually i never take that bus before la.." he laughs nervously. "so, where you live arh?"

you told him.

he suddenly realises he has run out of lines! he looks at you, then laughs nervously again. suddenly, and coincidentally, his bus arrived. seizing the opportunity, he quickly bade goodbye, and ran on the bus. (the typical line is, "oh my bus come le, i go first. bye!")

...and you will be there feeling STUPID, coz you had just encountered an awkward conversation with someone not close to you.

(end of scenario)

isnt this kind of situation very comical? to the observer, yes, but to the first person, it's really really awkward, even embarrassing. well, personally ive experienced a lot of such situations. it wasnt pretty! standing at a bus stop talking to a person you dont know well at all - how retarded can it get? and not to mention you have to hold it for 5 minutes or so. well with a boy i dont mind, but with a girl its kinda... (what word to use?)... bizzare!

but why do people keep doing this even then they know it's a complete waste of breath? yunbing said its just that people want to make conversation, and there's nothing wrong with it. yeah i totally agree. but then, next time, can anyone find some new topics to discuss?instead of buses and locations in singapore?!

for me, i either talk about really interesting and fresh topics, or i remain quite and simply stare into space. because i feel talking just for the sake of talking is really... sinful. lol just kidding. so the next time if you see me at the bus stop not trying to acknowledge you, chances are that i dont really know what to say, or im too shy to have a conversation with you. dao-ing you is not my intention.

PS:

here's an extra logical analysis. assuming that buses come at 10-minute frequencies, and youve just missed the bus when you came out of school. 3 minutes later the other guy comes out. so youre down to 7 minutes waiting time. but in that 7 minutes the other guy's bus may arrive too. so it would be a 1-7 minute conversation. usually it would be around 3-4 mins. if that guy can take more than one bus (eg. he can take 852 and 74 also) it would even be shorter. but you still need to have a conversation going in that time. and it can be hell for introverts like me!

i guess birds of a feather flock together

hello.

i havent visited this place for a long time le. nor have i posted. sorry for that. well, lately ive been engrossed in games - warcraft III: the frozen throne, to be precise. it's a brilliant game, and there's endless strategies and tactics for you to explore. girls should try it too (yeah why not? i know that biqing plays counterstrike lol.) kaisheng also plays this cool game. i never knew he was so good at it until i had a 1v1 match with him.

(skip this part if youre not interested or you just cant make sense of what im talking about.)

wah lau you guess what he used. he was human, and i was night elf. i went beartech you know. its a damn strong combo, from what ive heard. beartech means mixing dryads with druids of the claw in bear form. bears will tank damage, while dryads will attack from behind. somemore dryads are magic immune and have slow poison. what an unbeatable combo right? wrong. kaisheng just massed the human spellcasters and he was able to thrash me. i didnt know how he could do it mann. later he explained to me:

sorceresses polymorphed the bears so that they couldnt attack.
sorceresses also "spammed" slow to keep my dryads preoccupied with abolishing magic instead of attacking.
priests healed like mad.
spellbreakers got feedback, so they did extra damage to my bears.
mountain king got stormbolt and he used it to kill my hero (demon hunter)
knights tanked damage from my bears.

(end of mindless warcraft discussion)


real blog entry starts here:

harry potter has arrived! and everyone is pretty much excited by this latest installment of the hit book-to-film series. msn messenger nicks are a good representation of this. im looking forward to watching it too, but what im looking forward to the most is actually spending time with the people im watching the movie with.

nope, not my classmates. it's my ex-classmates. the good old brudders who were around me for the first 2 years of secondary school life. i'll never forget them mann. there were andre and xuanrui who liked to call names to insult people, there was the abominable jeremy lim who looked like a ball and hated being insulted... 想当年啊!

strangely, though we havent been seeing each other much for exactly a year already, the bond between us - instead of weakening - has become stronger. and when i think of it now, it seems that im distancing myself from my present classmates and drifting closer to my cat high buddies. like they (my cat high friends) said, "the 2-5 spirit never dies". yeah, it's really true, coz ive seen it myself. (2-5 was my class in cat high)

i guess the only reason i find myself closer to the cat high guys is that we are boys and we share... *similar interests*... haha, if you know what im talking about. and i think the law is that only people with similar thinking or similar interests can stay together for long. best friends only occur when two people are alike.

well ive got a warcraft game to play now, so cyaz

glhf, xd

im a sociopath

hello.

i realise that something is wrong with me.

im no longer only an introvert - im becoming autistic. which is a hell of a condition to get as a teenager. i can feel myself drifting away from the outside world and drawing closer to a world of my own. i dont talk to people as much as before.

everytime i log on to msn messenger, i dont have the intention to chat with people, even when their nicks suggest that they totally welcome a chat.

but then, looking at it again, i discover that this only applies to girls, coz i still keep in touch with the boys i know - ben, zhirong, kaisheng, kwok hong, john, etc.

so what is wrong? am i turning *gulps* g...ay...?

rubbish.

avoiding girls just means you're shy. c'mon dude, you've had spent most of your secondary school life in a boys' school, and now this new environment is just a little hard for you to adapt to. it's okay. if you can't approach girls, then just forget about it. the time is not ripe anyway. so yeah and erm, just make sure you have a well-balanced social circle. and all the crap la...

heh, that's easy for you to say, but it's much harder for it to be put into practice.

but for now, im really kinda confused. what's really wrong with me? or is there even anything wrong? is this just my imagination going astray?

somebody please give me answers...