the conspiracy theory

of late, ive been called XuanD (pronounced "Xuandeeeeeeeeeeeee". also attached is a retarded grin, like this: XD, which is kinda complimentary, dont you think?)

and i sense a malicious conspiracy in this particular happening. *mystery tune*

ok. so, you see, people dont call others Xuandee for no reason. and what's more is that XuanD was my MSN nick for the first term or so, which is like some 6 months from now. question is, why dig something as ancient as that up now, when there's no reason whatsoever or anything to remind people of it?

therefore i theorize that there has been a conspiracy lately.

here are my recent observations:
1. Yunbing has become crazier than ever. it is not without proof. if you will notice, she has been wearing Genevieve "Ah Sao" Thong's specs and im TOTALLY freaked out by it. I have also a few scenarios for that.
>>>>>Scenario 1: One day gen and yunbing were spending time in a mall, drooling over some Suxy bags. As gen leaned closer to take a better look, yunbing suddenly becomes siao and pushes her to the floor, and in the process knocking gen's specs to the floor. Then yunbing grabbed the specs and put it on, saying "hia hia hia hia hia!!!!! i will wear these specs forever and ever! *high pitched cackle*" as gen started to run in fear, yunbing seized gen's hair, making her fall on her head, instantly making her lose memory of the horror of that day. that's why she never told us about it.
>>>>>Scenario 2: Yunbing and gen were doing a project. Suddenly yunbing becomes siao and pushed gen to the floor. gen's spectacles fell out. then yunbing started to run around the room, waving her arms madly in the air (you wanna know why arh? oh its because yunbing was simply siao). gen crouched down in fright, but as she reached for her specs, the siao yunbing came and snatched it away from her, saying, "hii hiii hii hii hii hii! hii hii hii hii hii hii! i will wear gen's gooooodieee funkeee speeecs" gen faints, and lost her memory out of shock.
>>>>>Scenario 3 (impossible scenario): one day yunbing went to the spectacle maker and bought the same kind of specs gen had, without showing any signs of mental disorder.

Other than that, yunbing has also shown tremendous volumes of strange behaviour, such as dancing as she goes to the whiteboard, laughing to herself, talk in a way that her words dont make sense, etc etc.

2. I'm failing the things im not supposed to fail.
Since term 3, i have not been performing at the normal standard of my abilities. It all started with my IH essay about war and society, for which i only scored 60%. which is terrible. and now everything else is falling apart. i got 13.5 for MI, 10/20 for the data response ih test, not to mention my chinese. looking back, its not really that im falling short in my ability, just that im not working hard enough. im perpetually immersed in games, and when im not playing i'll just be staring blankly at the walls of my house. and that's why i had all these failures coming. but then the thing is i promised myself i gonna do well in the assessment week. its the last and only opportunity for me to prove my abilities in this whole year.

well i think in some way or another this is linked to the conspiracy.

3. Cai Lao Shi is becoming very funny when she speaks.
have you noticed it? cai lao shi is dam weird! everytime she talks in english, she would be so uncertain, her lines would be interspersed with "errr". its so funny when you hear it from her, especially during contact periods. and then her "then" will be so humorously pronounced, it sounds like "deng" (or sth like that)

Now ive got three totally separate observations that seems to make no sense when pieced together. but youre wrong, coz everything would make sense if you know how to think. this is my theory: massive amounts of a brain signal-distorting wave has approached 05ip01, creating bizarre happenings all over the class. the effects of encountering the wave would be different for every individual, but generally it amplifies the undesirable traits that are already present in a person's body. for example, yunbing was already eccentric in the past, and now, after being modified by the wave, she becomes more siao than ever. same for me and cai lao shi and lots of other classmates (as in becoming weirder or worse off than before). this may also be the reason why memories of the past (eg XuanD) are so vividly stimulated.

but waves dont come for no reason. there has to be some conspiracy going on somewhere. and the conspirators may just be in our midst....... who exactly is he/she, we have no idea. but one thing we know: if the conspiracy doesnt cease, there would never be a normal day in 05ip01......

In The Chasms of Xuandao's Deepest Thoughts

Out of a sudden I feel so useless, so small, and so uncertain.

It has already been nine months since I stepped into NJC. Of course, things have happened and changes took place, but other than that, I wonder what else I have gained. Chronic traits like procrastination have survived through unscathed, if grown more potent, and it is worrying I have never managed to shake them off.

After an interview with Mr Bernard Tan for our SPIRE project, I have found that I am no more special than the rest in terms of life planning and time management, and that I am headed no where, with no solid goals or strong passion for things. Sometimes I picture myself as a body of water in the sea, devoid of distinct personal characteristics and a sense of direction. I would go wherever the currents carried me too, imitate the way how other bodies of water around me carried themselves, and experience storms and heat with an empty heart.

The way I present myself to the outside world is totally inherited from my past acquaintances. I laugh like the way my ex-classmate Andre laughed, and speak like how a friend spoke. Taking everything apart, nothing is orginal about me. All you see when you look at me is just an illusion composed by a kaleidoscope of impressions patched together.

On occasion I prided myself on how smart I was. But then I was deluded. There is always a higher mountain, as how we Chinese teach ourselves to think. And for my case, I realise that there are so many mountains out there that dwarf mine. Someone as brilliantly intelligent as Han Dong has more than enough to me hold me in awe, not to mention the Hwa Chong and Raffles students out there. But it is certainly not a reason to give up hope, because I know that I am not yet working to my maximum potential, which brings me to face the fact that I am ill-disciplined and lazy.

The major problem with me is that I do not have enough motivation. As how Mr Tan said, "students fail to link what they're doing now to what they are going to go through in the future." Very apt description for me, and, I presume, a lot of my peers. I do not really have goals in life. Sometimes, however, I have the vague desire to be a doctor in the future, but most of the time I choose to cast these thoughts aside, favouring ephemeral enjoyment rather than being realistic. It is really bad to behave that way, you know, because if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. But ironically I do not plan to fail nor do I want to go through the trouble of having a plan. Nothing comes for granted; I know that, but I am simply too lazy to face it and do something about it.

Most of the time I am drowned within the pool of playfulness, thinking little about the future, which always seems to be distant. Just like how you don't worry about the cholesterol in your food. Why? Because you know the fuss is reserved only for the middle aged people, not for someone as young and as vibrant like you.

"Youth is a wonderful thing, but wasted on the young." That was by George Bernard Shaw. Think it is very correct. The fact that we young people are always wasting their time away is somehow very regrettable, and the way we look at things in an immature sense can really be a weakness. Sometimes, I feel that I want to grow out of this urgently, but then nature has denied me.

I am not really a religious believer, but then now I just want to say, "oei, can i become mature? being small small like a kid sucks leh.. everything also not efficient one.. walau can you just let me grow bigger? if you get what i mean la. dont later make me grow until dam tall or dam fat hor."

Haha.

some crap thinking

UPDATE: k i see that many still dont know mana. well its quite lame in concept lol. mana can be interpreted as spell points, especially common in games, in which its purpose is to make spell casting balanced. this is because every spell uses mana (im sure you know what a spell is.. coz if you dont, you really need to get a game or sth). it's just like health. an enemy whacks you, your health would be reduced. if you cast a spell, your mana will be expended too. it balances the game because there is always a limit to mana. in this way, you cant cast spells infinitely. but you can make mana regenerate too. for a hands-on experience, try playing runescape. or dota haha. *that was a commercial* or maybe stick around the com when your brother or father is playing.

very busy lately, so i didnt have the time to update this blog. pia spire ma. only good thing is that at least the effort i put in wasnt put to waste, coz today was the only spire meeting in which mrs fong didnt criticise our group.

anw ive come up with this theory that's somehow justified. i call it the study mana hypothesis (for those girls who dont know what's mana, just type it into your search engine and you'll get guaranteed 100% satisfactory results. for those boys who dont know about it, IT'S A FRIGGIN DISGRACE MAN!)

here's how it works.

your mind has always reserves of this thing called study mana. when you read books or try actively to acquire knowledge, you're increasing your mana. the maximum capacity of it is decided by your IQ. eh, actually the IQ can be the mana points hor? yeah can think so. (gees im talking to my other self*...but that's another theory for another time lol.) anyway, if your IQ is like, say, 95**, your maximum mana would be 95.

If you play games or do things that do not use too much of your thinking side of the brain (e.g. shopping)(jkjk. jkjk.), your study mana will start decreasing at a slow but constant rate. unless you do something to neutralise that, for example read books, you will be depleted of your mana, which has negative effects. that i'll be discussing later.

so you wanna ask, why is it even necessary for study mana to be there? because it's the fundamental need of continuing your academic study. because it's the mark of your intelligent brain (unless you dont have one of course)(jkjk)(i mean nothing *looks in all directions whistling*)

k here's the real reason why. when you take a test or major exam, or even an assignment, you will be using up a lot of the mana, just like casting a spell (reference to the warcraft III heroes). the greater effort you put in, the more mana expended. that's why it seems that after doing an LA assignment you'll find that the cheem-ness of your spoken language will be reduced.

and as a conclusion, you need to spend your holidays to increase the mana by reading up. it helps. if you do that in december, doing well in your IP2's first semester would be more or less guaranteed.

(disclaimer: this not necessarily happens to everyone. so dont come my house and spraypaint words like, "XUANDAO YOU CHEATED ME! GO DIE!!" I'll just call the police and sue you for harrassment.)

*: Things of interest (oooo...tell me about it) that kind of stuff.
**: kwok hong's IQ when he took his IQ test the first time. hahahahahahahah

seven tips on how to stretch your dollar at mcdonalds

nothing really interesting happened in my life these days, and things are getting quite monotonous. i find recounting events that occur thousands of times in our lives lacking in taste, so im leaving out the trip back to cat high. this post would be meaningful in comparison, because it will teach you all the tips and tricks you need when you visit mcdonalds. for all the law-by-law people out there, here are some stuff you SHOULD learn. dont worry, it's 100% legal. just that this is going near law's limits lol.

1. Bring your laptop along. Access the free wireless internet at mcdonalds, do whatever you want online. can even download songs and stuff.

2. If you hang around too much at mcdonald's (for project, etc), the manager will, using the most polite (sense the sarcasm hehe) tone, request your exit. But here's the catch. If you are holding on to unfinished food, they can say nothing. Next time you go, just take a tray of already finished food from someone who just left and put it at your table. observe the twisted expressions of the staff there.

3. Buy the kaya toast and the coffee combo. costs just $2! and you enjoy an unlimited number of refills for the coffee. especially useful if you're discussing homework on mornings.

4. For lunch and dinner, buy the student's value meal. costs only $4. you will get a burger, a medium drink and a small fries. if you top up, it will cost only $4.50 (i think). compared to an upsized mcspicy double meal, you pay $2 less. "then you take your dollar(s) to the counter, you get something else!"

5. Kope all the free stuff (i.e. sauces). it's so simple to get. after you get your meal, rap this: "For the sauces, I want 2 chilli, 2 mayo, 1 sweet and sour, 1 barbecue, 1 curry and 1 tartar." after which you'll receive a puzzled stare from the counter guy in front of you. haha.

6. When you're low on cash, always buy the cheap $1.95 item. double cheeseburger would be the better one. oh and, besides, it's exactly the same stuff they give you for a quarter pounder. so no point in wasting your money on that.

7. Always bring along your mcdonalds coupons if they are available.